The past few days have been great! By far this has been the best week of the chemo treatment. Sadly it is also the last week of my first chemo which means its time to start chemo treatment #2 and start this whole cycle over again.
The chemo hit me harder than I or my doctors expected it to. There were also unexpected side effects of the chemo that caused some serious complications (see the post titled "RED" for details). The thing about being a cancer patient on chemotherapy is you need double prayers. You need prayes for the awful things the cancer is doing to your body AND you need prayers for the awful things the treatment is doing to your body.
Not just your body, but your mind as well. My mind has been put to the test and I've only just begun. My emotions are all over the place. I try to keep a possitive outlook but thats not always easy especially with my long history of depression. On my last visit with my doctor I asked for some medicine to help with that. Its called Zoloft. Let's hope and pray it will help make things a little easier.
But, as far as the body goes, mine just isn't quite up to par anymore. My knees are weak and stairs are my enemies. Nine hours of sleep and three or four naps a day aren't quite enough to keep me rested. If you want to see me winded, ask me to walk across the room. As it turns out, ingesting your own blood does some pretty strange things to your body as well, but we wont go into that. Have I mentioned how much I miss my hair?
As bad and sad as all that is, there is good news to be had and to be shared. First, God is good and willing to save. Second, the chemo has knocked out the pain in my chest, the constant fevers and the disgusting night sweats! Third, I'm learning some serious lessons in humility. There are people, complete strangers, all over God's green earth calling out my name to God. Thats humbling.
Fourth, Poe came home! Poe is my Chihuahua mix puppy. I got him for Christmas from a friend just weeks before I found out about the tumor. He came into my life at just the right time. When I was in the hospital he had to go stay with my brother and his family and I've missed the little stinker very much. But now he's home where he belongs and so am I.
Since my first chemo was so difficult I'm feeling anxious about the next. But I still have faith in God, look what He's done so far. My friend Donnie Fritts has been fighting an ubelievable battle with a very rare cancer and its long lasting effects on his body and mind, but he's been fighting it with faith. His wife, Sharon sings a song called "Through It All", it's their testimony. I hope they dont mind if I steal a verse. Because, while all of this may be overwhelming and sometimes terrifying, God is faithful to His promises. He will not forsake me. He will not make me walk alone, so:
I Thank God For The Mountains,
And I Thank Him For The Valleys,
I Thank Him For The Storms He Brought Me Through.
For If I'd Never Had A Problem,
I Wouldn't Know God Could Solve Them,
I'd Never Know What Faith In God Could Do
This battle I'm fighting, I'm not the only one. And its not just cancer patients, its every person out there who has a mountain in front of them, but keeps on climbing or a thorn in their side, but keeps on going its every person who has believed in the name and the power and the sacrifice of Jesus Christ who, without ever having seen him, trust him with their lives. Keep believing, keep climbing, keep going and keep fighting.
"Fight the good fight of faith" - 1 Timothy 6:12
3 comments:
yep, I am crying again ...keep em coming!!!
Thank you for taking the time to share your ups and downs of cancer and chemo. I noticed you said you are trying to keep a little faith....that is all you need the faith the size of this period (.) I know it is hard fighting depression...I have fought that battle, but I have never had to fight cancer. The verse that got me through depression and made me an overcomer was 2 Timothy 1:7 For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and a sound mind. I had that posted every where in my home. I looked at that probably 50 times a day just to get through....but I made it to see another day and now I am no longer on the 25 pills a day to function. God healed me....it was a very dark and painful time but I "live" to see another day to testify of his healing power. I may not know and understand all you are going through, but We both serve a God of healing and I am believing for complete healing of your mind and body. Keep fighting the good fight and hang onto that little spot of faith! God bless you! Melissa
Hi Jeremy,
I'm Eleanor Silvers daughter Sandy, and I believe we met you at a benefit for Donnie, a couple of years ago. I've tried to keep up w/your progress through mom, but it will be good to be able to come to your journal to see how you are really doing. We think about you and pray for you often and we'll continue to pray this next round of chemo goes better. I'm so sorry for everything you are going through and I can only imagine how it affects you physically, as well as emotionally. You are definitely looking in the right direction for your strength and comfort!!! KEEP LOOKING UP!!! In Christian love...
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